ENGLISH IS WEIRD
- There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
- English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France .
- Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
- We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
- And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham?
- If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
- If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
- In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
- Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
- How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
- How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? When a house burns up, it burns down.
- You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
- When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
- And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
Advertisement
Hmmm…when you take something from someone else’s book you should credit your source. Otherwise it’s called “stealing”.